Opinion on my poems please :D?

Never Again.





He's walking away from me.


His back is tense, and I know he's angry with me.


I suppose he's got a right to be angry.


He's looking back at me now with that look in his eyes.


The look that says I've disappointed him again.


I know I'm a coward for not even trying.


He's been waiting twenty years,


and I can't even try.





He's getting in his truck,


Heading back to that empty place he calls home.


Soon I'll have to go back to my own empty life,


and wait for the next time we can see each other again.


It's not so different from what we've done for the last two decades.


Except, I have this awful feeling that something's going to happen.


This feeling is so over powering,


making it hard to breathe.





Every second takes him


further and further away from me.


I want to go after him.


I want to beg him to stay


and never leave my side.


Why couldn't I just tell him what he wanted to hear?


Why couldn't I just tell him I love him?





Instead, I say nothing.


I do nothing.


I just stand and watch him disappear,


not having the courage to call him back.





A tear runs down my cheek.


Somehow, I know,


deep in my soul,


I will never


See him again.














Miles Apart




















I wish you would wipe


my falling tears away,





as I bravely smile through your pain...


You see me suffer,





then I break down and cry


miles apart...





In your dreams


I softly kiss you,





no one can see the pain,


that I feel inside





miles apart...


I whisper I love you





and you whisper to the skies,


I love you too





When will this pain ever go away


even though we are





miles apart...


To be by your side





is a dream I can't deny


But I will wish for it to come true.





I miss you so badly


my heart is breaking





as I cry


miles apart...








Wishing


I looked up.


I saw a shooting star,


I saw a shooting star in the dark sky.


I made a wish,


I made a wish to be with you.





I looked down.


I saw a penny,


I saw a penny on the gravel.


I made a wish,


I made a wish to be with you.





I looked to the right.


I saw birthday candles,


I saw birthday candles on a lavender cake.


I made a wish,


I made a wish to be with you.





I looked to the left.


I saw a dandelion,


I saw a dandelion on the lawn.


I made a wish,


I made a wish to be with you.





I look straight ahead.


I see you,


I see you right here in front of me.


I made a wish,


I made a wish and it didn't come true.











Woah.





Life is never good for me and this is what I wish you'd see.


Just let me end it all for I'll be happy in the end, I'll finally be free.





Free from all the pain and torment and the never ending battle.


No more dealing with the arguments and tears, I'd finally be through with it all.





You just don’t seem to understand that by keeping me here your making it worse.


If I were dead and gone by now I'd be happy, I wouldn’t have this life, I wouldn't have the curse.





I’m already considering doing this even without your consent.


I know for sure that once its all over with my heart will finally be content.





So here I am just sitting there, on my bed with a knife to my wrist.


Please everyone don’t be upset, please don’t be pissed.





You just need to know I love you all but couldn’t handle it anymore.


Ok here I go, I’m doing this for sure.





You just need to let me go to heaven now, hopefully God will understand and accept this.


Just tell my baby I love him and I’m sorry I couldn’t give him one last kiss.





Tell everyone I love them and that I'm sorry I had to go so soon and leave them all behind.


But I just needed to end it all and start a new life so happiness I could find.





These are the last words I'll ever be writing down.


I know they are harsh but don’t worry, rest your head, be at ease, don’t make a sound.





Know that I love you and always have but I need to think of me right now and so I said goodbye.


Be happy without me and know that I'm somewhere good, somewhere up high.





I just hope your not crying, I want you to know everything will be ok.


I'll be watching over you and listening to what you have to say.





Just have patience, wait till the day, and I'll see you up here in heaven and we can be together.


Except this time things will be better and you'll see me happy, always and forever.





So stop your weeping and know this was the best thing for me


It was my time to go, your time to set me free.





Ended.





Her eyes are swollen.


Her cheeks are red.


Tears pouring out of the lonely girl.


Love was all she asked for.


She got walked all over.


It seemed that no one cared for what she believed in.


As she lays in her bed, saying a prayer to make the pain go away.


She can't sleep, so she steers at his picture.


Trying to put the memories in her past.


She's waits to see, how she's going to make it.


As she struggles to get out of bed, thinking of what went wrong.


She has lost all the faith and all the happiness.


She is lost in the waking of her day.


As she has no one to talk to.


She's done everything to try to make it.


As one night she made her choice,


She can't live without him.


She swore that she couldn't make it without him.


As days go by, she doesn't want to come out.


She wrote him a note, saying that she will always love him.


One night she lost it.


Her mom came to get her because he came to see her.


She can't get her to answer her or the door.


As they break in her room, they have found out they lost her.


She lays with the note and his picture on her chest.


He was too late, she was gone and all he does is scream.


She had finally ended her pain.





What would you say?





What could you say,


if your daughter ever got raped?


or say your son was a mass murderer,


or had a life you couldn't escape?


What could you say,


if your body was so broken,


because your father beat you,


and called you names the remain unspoken?


what could you say


if you fell into depression


became bulimic or anorexic


because of your body's imperfections?


what could you say,


if tear came to my eyes?


would you hold my tightly in your arms?


or simply watch me cry


what could you say


if my words came to an end?


Would you help me recover from broken hopes


and help me make amends


what would you say


if I were never here


would you continue on with everyday life


as I slowly disappear?





Unspoken





SUICIDE


This thought comes almost everyday,


We have become close friends as we were one in the same.


Then soon enough it will be the end I cry almost every minute


So much pain, so much hurt


My feelings and memories are like a hurricane.


I'm alone, scared during this storm and as the tears run down my face .


Seems like there is no way in stopping the intolerable emotions, pain, and frustration that the world puts upon my shoulders.


I hear no birds singing their joyful songs or the laughter of young children being able to enjoy life without a care.


It just seems like death has been and will be around me anyway.


So no matter what you try say,


Suicide is the only way out for me.


It's been way to long since someone has held me tight and said that they love me and that they need me.


It's been to long since I have had someone to protect me,


But you have never been able to see


In reality what has been happening inside of me.


You may ask and look concerned wanting to know why I cry,


But do you really want to that I wish for me to die?


Can you handle the truth,


Can you handle the pain I have felt and dealt with by myself for many years?


When I see myself in the mirror,


I can't see the joy I once felt.


That joy has been taken away since I can remember


I just turn my head as quick as possible for I do not want see what I'm actually trying to hide.


Suicide?


The quickest way to solve my problems once I'm gone


But will they really be solved or will they become a burden to those I still love but don't love me?


Time is the only one who can really tell us.


In the end will you miss me after I have cried my last tears?


Did you know?





did you know?...





did you know that I secretly cry and tear myself to shreds every night?





did you know that behind my seemingly warm happy eyes lies a broken innocent, ravaged by many sinful hands?





did you know that I loathe you for disposing and abandoning me in this forsaken hell?





did you know that I bleed for you, that I dwell in this eternal pain for you, that you bind me to this duty?





did you know that you intertwined you and I and left me to take care of our withering souls?





did you know that for every smile I forcefully press against my face a slit is placed upon my delicate skin?





did you know that everyday you kill apart of who I am, that every time you scream at my wrenching, contorting face I grow number?





do you even know that I exist anymore?





do you know that for every word you say it pierces my heart and I grow closer to my death?





do you even care that you have started my reckoning?





did you even know or acknowledge when I crept upstairs and locked my door, when I slowly consumed the various jagged white little pills, then I pierced my wrist with the oh so familiar razor?





did you know that I did that to escape you because it was the only absolute solution?





do you realize that even as I lay in the plain plush cushions on my final bed with an expressionless face, I still hold nothing but contempt for you?





do you finally understand cursed life you burdened on my fragile shoulders? I don't think you do, you will never understand...will you?





Dang.





She goes about her day to day and does her duties to perfection,


She cries alone and works her way through fears and self rejection.


No one knows this angel is carrying around such grief,


If they only saw a glimpse of things they'd sigh in disbelief.


She seems to be so perfect not one single flaw,


Everyone looks at her with envy If they only knew it all.


Her heart aches with loneliness and her tears disguised with pride,


Why does she care what they think its becoming too much for her to hide.


She sits at home and pours her heart out to a man that doesn't really care,


He never hears a word she says he looks right through her as if she’s not really there.


She is running out of friends to confide in and family's gone astray,


Alone and broken hearted, she slits her wrists and slowly fades away.





If you look beyond my scars


Far, far away


You might just see the happy girl


That's starting to fade away


If you look back to the past


And notice who I was


You'll notice now that who I am


Isn't really me


If you look beyond my smile


Beyond my fading face


If you look beyond the pain


You might just feel the same


If you look past my tears


And past the fallen blood


If you pass all of that


Then you will have fallen


If you fall where I have fell


Then you might notice to


This life I live is nothing


But a show that I put on for you


If you look past my fake smile


Past my fake outside


Then you will see what is wrong


Deep, deep inside


If you go down deep enough


You might get to my heart


If you see the crack in it


You you'll know what fell apart


If you travel though my blood


And look up at my skin


You might just see the scares


That show up deep within


If you look beyond the scars


Beyond my fading arm


Maybe then and only then


Will u understand

Opinion on my poems please :D?
You are very talented. I like the first one best! Good work.
Reply:I think they're pretty good. I think that perhaps that with poetry, i know that less is more. Like it's ideal to try to condense the message you're trying to portray into like as few words as possible....sort of. Though that's just one type of poetry. I like poems with meaning, and though i may be mistaken, it seems like there's real feeling behind them.
Reply:wow sounds like you messed up a really good relationship,


your poems are awesome.

frangipni