Help please help need help with my thesis statement u recon its gd?

For my english class we are all writing paper on our heritage. I just move from India 2.5 months ago so I want to write something interesting about my motherland but am trying to think of a topic. I thought maybe of writing about a great philosopher who taught my people when we were still a colony of England - his name was Walt Horsley. Here is my thesis paragraph so far:





Walt Horsley was the great teacher of the people who live under the bridge. He was wise and left us with the great quote "to skin a beaver." Such quotes were of large impact to the Indians. I think he was a better philosopher than Socrates and maybe even Newton.





What do you think? I recon its gd but I need a second opinion. Plz dont lie thanks!

Help please help need help with my thesis statement u recon its gd?
i was taught that to get a persons attention that the starting line of an essay should be interesting enough to catch a persons attention. asking a question first, or quoting something is really good. in your case maybe try for a first line: Who is Walt Horsley? or " To skin a beaver" is a great quote that was left to us by a wise man named Walt Horsley.


hope that helps.