Saturday, April 24, 2010

It's been 5 years- Why can't I stop thinking about my ex?

I dated this guy when I was 16. We clicked so well and would talk and talk on the phone for hours. I fell in love with him, but I had no idea how much I really did love him until he was gone. Less than 3 months later, he broke up with me, for unknown reasons. I cried myself to sleep for months. Now, I'm 21, and not a day goes by that I haven't thought about him. I think about what it would be like to be with him, why we broke up, what his skin felt like on mine, how badly I want to see him, even if just for a second. I've tried everything that I can think of to get him off my brain; I've tried talking about it, dating other people, cutting him out of my life... nothing has worked. I recently met up with him and we had sex, because I thought that it might help, but it hasn't. It only made things worse. What is wrong with me? And does this mean that he's the one for me and I'm destined to be alone? Should I even try being with someone else if I know that I'll always want this guy?

It's been 5 years- Why can't I stop thinking about my ex?
The problem is that you have set this guy and your relationship with him up on a stool and made it this grand thing that it will always be hard for any other relationship to compete with. The truth is he dumped you and now he used you for just sex. If this thing with this guy was so wonderful then when you two got together again it wouldn't have been about sex, it would have been a full reconnection and sharing of your lives. Some people are meant to just be friends and not lovers. When you accept this and stop trying to compare old feelings and emotions to every new relationship that comes along then you will finally have a chance at finding real love.
Reply:That's crazy,move on.Unless you two get together for a dirty scenerio.Heee-Heee.....
Reply:I have the same idea in my brain about a guy I went out with when I was 16... that was 34 years ago...


no I haven't ever had sex with him... but there was something very pivotal about him at that time of my life... I love that fact that I think of him..but I am married now and would never act on it..even if I saw him again


Thats what memories are for.. to remember fondly those that touched our hearts... and that is all it is!
Reply:you've never really moved on i have a friend like this, it's not healthy he is still in love with a girl he was with only for about a year and a half. he told me he still thinks about her. You have to move on. and you won't always want this guy it will go away. YOU MUST MOVE ON, unless you enjoy torturing yourself to no end, and the sex was a bad idea. I wish you the best of luck
Reply:You only knew him for three months. You never really got to know who he is. Your impression of him is a fantasy.





Maybe you should talk to other ex-girlfriends he has had to find out more about him. Once you learn to dislike him you can forget the fantasy.
Reply:move on baby! its the best favour you can do to yourself.
Reply:It's because your delicate emotions are at work. You loved this guy. You still do. You won't forget him until you find someone to take his place in your heart.





Love is a tricky thing. I'm separated from my wife of 8 years, because she decided that her online boyfriend meant more to her than our kids and I. I gave her every oppurtunity to stay and continue with our lives. She left anyway. It hurts, but it seems to not hurt when I'm lucky enough to have someone get close to me. My feelings of love for my wife wane and fade little by little when my emotional needs are met by someone new.





I wish you luck, and hope that someone will come along who is man enough to fill that huge void in your heart. You deserve it. We all do.
Reply:Humm I've been there with my exboyfriend. Now I don't know what is up with us but I still love him. However I know that I can't only be his friend and defenetly having sex with him would only make it worst! Girl, why in the world did you go and have sex with your ex!?? Didn't you know that when you are intimate with someone is to create a bond. You want to bond with him but does he? Have you told him how you feel? WHat did he say? Look, I am all for you getting him back. BUT, keep your self-respect. If he doesn't respond the way you want then move on. Keep him in your heart but give yourself the opportunity to be happy , even if it is with someone else. Be strong, if its meant to be it will be!
Reply:Ok well..


This is weird, but i met the guy i loved huge time when iwas 16 and we dated for a year and a half. He broke up wit hme because of his MOTHER. can u imagine, he was convinced i was the wrong one, and yet before he promised me marriage, we used to look at other ocuples who broke up and said that would never happen. i was a hundred and one percent sure he was the one. its been a year since we broke up, and it took me around 1O-11 months to get over him. i think you have to realize that this guy is not the right guy. you could try telling him how you felt, but obviously, this may sound harsh, but he is not reciprocating any feelings. the fact that he had sex with you but took no opportunities to pursue something shows his lack of commitment to you. I can understand that you dont feel like your EVER going to get over him, because it feels like love that will last forever. but, you have to realize that your life is not about the two of you anymore, its about YOU and only YOU. not him. you dont seem tired enough, think about how much this guy is draining your energy-how long do you want to keep living like this? you may feel strongly for this guy, but believe me- you have the power to get out of it. our minds are normally the culprit that continually tell us one experience was so great and we can never have the same thing or are afraid to let go of it because it was one of the most special things we received and we fear whether we can receive again





. im sorry that this post is getting realy long , but have faith that some better man will come your way soon- you have to decide that that is your future, and it will come to you whenever it is supposed to . let go of any fear or anxiety. and you know what, im pretty sure this is a matter of ego, after five years. i think when we first break up with someone we love, were hurt at first. but any arise of old feelings is just " i am so good, i loved him, i gave to him, i am a good person, why did he leave me, why did he have to hurt ME". once you realize this, you will stop feeling so insecure, and move on, look ahead and KNOW that is the only direction you can look, and that you will move on and find someone perfect for you. focus on other things in your life now, things that will make you happy.


good luck and again sorry for extremely long post.
Reply:hi first,


look in order to know why cant you forget about somone you should first know why did you love him, we generaly fall in love when





1- we find somone that is similar to us to what we like about ourselves and not similiar to us to what we do hate about ourselves


for example if you were shy but intellegent you may love a intellegent but confident person





2- we fall in love when somone meets a certain criteria that is detmerind by our mind, this critera could be "he should not be fat,he should have black eyes,he should be of the same cultural back ground....etc"





now after you knew why do you love somone, you can know why cant you forget about somone,





1- not meeting somone else who is a better match than your old partner, this will make you always compare both and so remember the old one





2- always hearing songs that reminds you of him or going to a places where you used to go together, dont let the small seed grow into a tree, just cut the water supply





3- going into another relation just to escape bad mood or just for relationship addiction and not for real love. if that was the case, offcourse this new fake relation wont last and the old one will win





4- abnormal relationship termnination, if your old relation terminated suddently and he disspaeard, most probabaly you will still be having hope of getting back, this hope is waht makes you unable to forget, either force the relation back or cut this hope by asking him wether you could be back together or not.





5- i copied all information from that website





http://www.2knowmyself.com/relationship_...


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